a look into my heart

I'm terrified.
You know, the future is this void that no one can ever be sure of.
We can guess, and hope for the best,
but that's only a breath away from being destroyed in the next moment that comes.

It's like mindlessly diving into the deep end
when you've never learned to swim.
I guess this is when faith comes into play,
and never leaves.

God, we both know that everything I'm doing is for you.
But why does it seem so hard to accept the future you've planned for me
with open, honest faith?
Where has my trust fallen off along the way?

I've always been a reckless person.
I like spontaneity, and finding myself in adventures I could've never thought of being possible.
But why, when it comes to my future (that's never been in my hands in the first place),
why can't I just let go and let you move these mountains into place?

When did I start believing the God that created the universe
couldn't handle holding my future for me?
I don't need to understand the whole plan just yet.
I just need to go.

There's work to do.