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xxvii

on August 18, 2018

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exasperation of
everything i've ever wanted to be
and suddenly
nothing makes sense at all.

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I am

I am a broken vase, mended together time and time again by hands that are calloused from years of gently crafting pottery from next to nothing. I am a wave, right before it's crest and crash, looking for my peak of life. I have seen the dark and cold waters; this is my final attempt at an escape for something better. I am an old ship, worn from years upon the seas. I've seen great adventure, great loss. The water, choppy and then calm, has left it's scars on the wood, a silent story of my life. I am a library of an ancient city, I hold many secrets and pages of smudged ink from old poets and historians. It would take years to open every book I store; my thoughts. I am nothing more than a speck of well-put together molecules and stardust. I work as a slow time-bomb, nearing my end which will come in a small, useless explosion that will send me back to the stars from where I emerged.

five things i want him to know

1. Maybe I'll never be able to meet your skin, but a photograph seems to work just as well. 2. I scratch and rub the old away, and your sweet nothings cover me in a sheen of new so shimmery I dare to compare it to starlight. 3. You remind me of a sandy beach, blue ocean, and whipping winds that could knock me off my feet if it tried hard enough. Hey, are you even trying? 4. I've come to realize, maybe a bit late, that you're whirlwind uncontrollable by any human hand. I hope there's some Jesus workin' somewhere in there. 5. Every cliche I've ever complained about makes total sense now. I'd never tell you this.

climate change

Maybe I'm overthinking things, as I tend to do, but that spark in your eyes doesn't seem to be gleaming like it once did. I remember when it was so bright that it illuminated an entire room when you walked in. It's captivating grasp had a hold on me, and in its warmth is where I've spent my loneliest nights. Of course I'm going to notice when my world enters another Ice Age suddenly.

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xxvii

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