"come back to me."

there's wires leading to nowhere
feeding energy and liquid courage
back into brittle bones and tissue paper flesh.

and there's stale air in the room
that i could never recognize
and you -

not from adam, it seemed,
but you were crafted from a prayer spoken by God himself
and i could never pray enough to thank him. 

i remember holding your hand
as soft tears settled like dew 
on the lawns of a tomorrowland i'd never get to see -

pierceless cries tore holes in my heart,
lulls my dreams to cease,
and when the world becomes dark again

i dreamt of you. 

i dreamt of wildflower meadows
and your hair being whipped 
by blowing breeze from the south - 

that stupid necklace i made you
of seashells and frayed cords
wrapped around your neck -

as a reminder of what could've been.
what should've been,
and what wasn't.

i could never be sorry enough
for the wilting wildflowers you'll have to leave 
on my gravestone when all this is over. 

you asked me, once, 
when that time would come.
and i could not reply. 

time is a tricky substance.
where it grasps onto the painful,
it lets the fond slip through the cracks -

my body deteriorates long before it's in the ground,
and you, my lilac iris glowing in moonlight,
will watch in slowmotion what happens in seconds. 

do not cling to the way my frame shrinks, 
we both know that this body 
was never meant to last. 

the dreams always come to an end. 

i would tell you not to cry -
not to worry, but i know 
your pasttime is worrying for the broken

and making mosaics from the splintered glass
of my fragile, ailing heart
and remade into something priceless. 

something that's become an heirloom to time -
and my soul found a home within the cracks 
of every color stained piece. 

it reminds me that there's more to this existence
than the confining bed and white, sinless walls
i've seen for far too long now - 

it paints me to be a hero 
that i never had the strength to be. 
but you always called me your Champion regardless,

when it was you, melancholy darling, 
that saved me. 
and for that, i will never be able to repay you for it.

other than a tighter grip of the hand,
a smile of ghost thin lips, 
and a heart that just refuses to stop beating without you. 

and now is the time 
to allow your tears to create an ocean 
that will drown out the goodbyes

we never intended to say this early. 

when the dream is over, i wake up.
to sunny, open wildflower fields.
to tubes cascading my veins gone, and walls split open.

when i wake up, i will be gone. 

but you will keep up the fight while i'm away.